Wittyleaks

This world cup season, I had been amazingly involved in cricket, the habit that thankfully I caught through my activity on twitter. I’m really hopeful that India is going to win this time and I want to share the witty and emotional journey that my thought-process went through in the process. I present some of my own commentaries on the past cricket matches, starting chronologically:

Wittyleaks:

• No work and no play makes Sreesanth a millionaire.
• Arindam Chaudhari, inspired by Dhoni, cuts his ponytail. He was seen wearing a T-shirt saying, 'Dare to think beyond Sachin.'
• Piyush Chawla donates half of his won money to Sreesanth, for shifting the attention of critics towards himself.
• Dhoni has made a bet to his friend that he would bring the WC without scoring more than ten runs in any match. Well, that’s called confidence.
• Yuvraj says his lack of form in the past few months was just a tactic to get rid of Deepika. Now, he is eyeing Sheila!
• Ponting goes back home, is welcomed by his wife, who says, ‘Fuck off! I’m marrying Yuvi.’
• Munaf signed by Gillette as their Brand Ambassador. His recent tweet said ‘Not taking bath since months finally paid off.’
• India wins. Nehra is thinking, ‘They were right, it was really me.’ #againstWI
• A: Dhoni played politics by sending Nehra for the last over, he wanted him out.
  B: Do you realize that even Nehra wanted that!
• Bangladeshi crowd is feeling jealous. They are cursing their grandfathers for not choosing Pakistan during the partition.
• After Ind vs SA match, Dabur Amla is changing its tagline. Their new tagline goes like this: Asli Amla, Hashim Amla. B-)

Look what Mr. Lee is upto! No doubt he’s a bowler…and our Yuvi, busted his balls!

CriCommentary:

India vs Pak

• Come on India, you got to buck up. If not for us, at least win this match for Poonam Pandey's fans. #mohali

India vs Australia

• India will be facing Pakistan in Mohali. Let there be war!
• Let’s give a nice farewell to Ponting. Let’s make him Nehra for one day!
• Bharat mata ki … jai! Australia ki mata ki ________!
• Mujhe Ponting ko dekh kar ab to aur bhi zyada Hussey aa rhi hai!
• Ricky Ponting’s ton failed to get noticed in the land of master of tons.
• When it comes to Tendulkar, a bat is mightier than a sword.

India vs WI

• @Indian Team – Make sure that you don’t make me cry – ‘Holi Shit!’
• Our Indian players seem bored of cricket, they’re so desperate to end every match as soon as possible
• India is playing a good host. Setting up an example by practicing the philosophy of atithi devo bhav.
• I’m watching Dhoom 2. Even Uday Chopra looks tolerable when compared to the Indian cricket team.
• @Uday Chopra – You suck! Indian team gets the game back.
• WI wiped out. That’s what happens when you ask West Indians to play in the East India.
• West Indies team made a Nehra out of themselves.

Australia vs Pakistan

• Razzaq to Brett Lee after the last over of the innings, ‘Beta, maine teri le LEE!’

England vs SA

• England : they rock when they suck!

India vs SA

• Don’t feel bad if people go gaga on the social network when India loses. That actually prevents violence – not only against players but also against TV sets.
• Nehra is trending on TWITTER. We know who the man of the match is.
• Nehra, after four dot balls in a row, got struck for a boundary. SA believes in tat for teeth!
• India is all about diversity. A man scores a hundred runs, ten men take rest

England vs WI

• This is the first time I’m feeling good for England. After the pathetic Patiala House, they finally attained something good in India.

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