Wednesday, January 26, 2011

On indifference

I am not the same person that I used to be when I migrated from my hometown to Delhi. I've changed. I used to be a shy, self-conscious, opinionated, rigid and determined nerd who had an opinion about every single thing in this universe, who disliked things which didn't fit in his rationale. Now, I'm sort of detached to majority of the things in this universe. It's not that I've stopped caring, it's just that I've regulated things that I care about. You may call that I've become selfish.

Being selfish has its own pros and cons. It makes you focussed about your ambitions, but at the same time it makes you indifferent to majority of things which others think should bother you. The end result is that you unconsciously might end up hurting people - not by doing anything, but rather by doing nothing. Initially, people expect you to respond to things that you're indifferent about. But when they don't get the desired response, they feel bad and stop expecting. You get what you want - no expectations from you and they get to know what they should expect from you - no response. The end result is a different kind of freedom, which seems solitude at first and becomes loneliness later. Because when you come out of your ocean of self, you realize that there is nobody around to share your 'self' with. Your indifference becomes the cause of your desolation and thus, indifference gestating inside you gives birth to its offspring - depression.


Sugandha said...

Any individual can become indifferent at some or the other point in life, but it's worse for achievers a.k.a successful people, as people easily start seeing them as haughty, insensitive and over confident, even if it's not true.

Though, this sort-of-another-form of insensitivity can be 'cured' by those most beautiful and special people in life, who have the power to bring out every possible emotion from within us, when they hurt us or make us happy or make feel proud or absolutely break us down.

Success, ambition et al are food for the dynamic career-maker within us (awoken by few only) but feelings such as care and sensitivity are food for the soul, the person that we are and a support for the entire life ahead, as long it doesn't become a weakness.

Why did I say all that I said? I don't know.

Buzz said...

Thanks. You took this article personally I guess, which I guess wasn't actually the case.

Success, ambition has not made me indifferent. The ups and downs in my personal life has.

Sugandha said...

No! I didn't know it would seem like what you say!! :O

But if 'relating' it to oneself is considered as taking personally, then yes, I did. You just heard what I was actually telling myself. Sorry.

mashhood said...

Yeah very true...Everybody sometime or the other becomes indifferent...or could happen bcoz of success or failure too...