Monday, September 15, 2008

Taste of Triumph

Finally, the wait has been over. I had been waiting for this very day from the last one and half years. I have shared this feeling with no other person, but now I can write this feeling to the world. Last two semesters had been time of despair, failures after failures, with no taste of success coming in any field of activity. I am not only including academics in my list but I am pointing towards everything I tried my hands upon. I was involved in music, but none of the competitions did I win; neither in photography, neither in football, almost everything I tried my hands upon I ended up finishing last in it. I used to say that I am happy and satisfied but that was just to please my mind, I was totally at war with myself. My self-confidence dripped down day after day and I would be switching from one hobby to another intermittently. A dilettante like me could not find anything in which he was better than the majority, dissatisfaction clouded my mind all the time. That X(in the article 'The Algebra of Life') which I was missing in my life was success, as I was tired of failure. From the beginning of this semester, I was craving for success and I knew success in academics was the easiest to achieve as it had been my forte in the school-days.

And today as I got my optics paper, a wait of 3/2 years has finally been over. I got 21 out of 22 and I was definitely very happy. The lost self-belief was finally won back. I could see the happiness in the faces of my real friends at my marks and anguish in the face of some of my fake friends. Some appreciated me while some condescended and disbelieved me that how could I get that marks. I called my Dad and told him my marks, and to my surprise tears started rolling down my eyes. I could not decipher what was making me cry but I could feel iotas of relief stacking over my mind as my tears were rolling down. Dad was much more happy than I was, as he craved for my success much more than I did. I could feel the happiness in his voice. The voices of yesterday - when I used to tell my school marks to my Dad - echoed my ears and brought more tears. I am missing my tutorial class now - just because I needed to write this feeling, the feeling of success, for the first time in my life after I started blogging.

P.S. No P.S. this time.


aman said...

harsh ,, finally you are back to your normal self,, must be feeling great i m sure,, cos last 1 years se shayad you were not getting outcomes you deserved... chalo really feels good for you and i m sure ab to u have someone spl to u r going to move higher and higher :)

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