Tuesday, May 26, 2009


It is 3.30 am in the night. I am awake. The morning light has crept in. Had a bread-jam. I don't know what is keeping me awake. I suddenly realize that I have some purpose in my life and that purpose can only be realized if I keep myself involved - involved in some things or other. I had been wasting my time quite a lot. In worthless blabber, in reading and seeing craps(not literally) and facebook-ing. Today was a unique day. It made me contemplate about something which I had not cared about much in my 19 years, 8 months of existence. And that something is my life.

Seeing the work culture here, which is awesome, I don't know why I get an intuition that research is not exactly the arena for me to step upon in my future. It is certainly peaceful for the body and challenging to the mind but there is some kind of monotony that I can always associate with it. Theoretical physics is such a big field that no wonder two hours later I come across something awe-inspiring and change my statement, but for the time being I feel that it is not for me. Perhaps I am too lazy to apply my brain. The work here has no relation to my current feeling, rather the work-culture here is really fun and I am making a nice progress too; but inwardly I feel something else is in store for me. The only question is 'what I really want?'

So enumerating the career options for me, hmm, let me see:
  • Research, Physics : on hold; chances - less.
  • MBA - I have no specific interest. Perhaps if I go for it then I'll end up founding an NGO for AIDS patients. That's certainly what gives me a certain specific interest, but that interest has to be polished to a more general state.
  • IAS - No way! I hate being a part of the bureaucracy.
  • Direct Job - That would be misusing the runway to the higher exposure that IIT has offered.
  • Higher Studies in some other field : Certainly, this seems a lucrative line. I get a definite urge that I'll shift in any field of arts after my B.Tech. But then always, I can carry out my passion for writing as my side-business, with whatever I do for living.
  • Confused - yeah that's my state.
P.S. I've written a story in Graffiti after a long time of one month, and that's just because a slight appreciation that one of my blogger pals did to me by commenting on the last story. Thanks for re-igniting the writer within me!

Keep the feedback engine on...


supriya said...

hmmmmmmmm..........................i knew it

Debanjan said...

So many choices and so much to do. Nice one there. Its all life's way of teaching you what you want out of life.

And yes, i would like a little more detail on the work culture there.

Buzz said...

@ Debu
Check my other blog - Quantum Leap - I described some bits about the work culture here, will add more this weekend.