The Toilet Awakening

From the day I realized that I liked writing for entertaining others, I have lost a vital part of me. It is called my self. The sheer connection with the self.

Earlier I used to contemplate, introspect and think; without any particular motive, rather just to listen to what my heart had to say sometimes. Now, as I notice, I have started thinking with a hope to come out with something funny or witty or extraordinary so that people 'like' it or appreciate it. The mere way of my thinking is now being governed by how others respond to it, which is what is disconnecting it from my self. Contemplation and introspection had taken a vow of silence since many days, rather many months, and this lull continued to exist till my present state, until two days ago.

Day before yesterday, as per my habit goes, I took an old newspaper out of the heap and went into the loo. Reading while attending to nature's sacred call had been a habit that had got into my nerves since my school days, after once listening to Derek O' Brien in BQC, who shared that the secret to his excellent English was that his father made it compulsory for all his brothers to read newspapers aloud while in the toilet. Fearful that my Dad would not quite appreciate me carrying things to read in the toilet, I took them stealthily and preferred to read them silently. This way I used to escape from studies during my pre-JEE days, by letting the hollow pot bite my bums and the barbarous mosquitoes do the same everywhere else, for hours, while I kept skimming through the Page-3's of several newspapers in one go.

Anyway, coming back to the point, day before yesterday, there was this old newspaper that I carried to the loo as a silent spectator of my live performance and it contained a small interview of the legendary lyricist, Gulzar. One of his lines during the interview stirred my soul from within, only to realize later that it was my stomach making noises, but still it was one of the most profound sentences one could read in the toilet ever. He said, 'I am at such a stage of my life where awards are more but achievements are less.'

I was stunned. As I saw within me, rather introspected after such a long time, I realized, 'Apparently, I am now running after awards, because awards are something which is conferred upon us by someone else while achievements are something that is conferred by our self upon ourselves. And achievements are the real gold that I should strive for!'

I've realized what has went wrong. In the race of winning the hearts of others, I had lost touch with my own heart. I had almost forgotten it. And, neither did I win too many hearts, you see, life is quite unfair if you lose contact with your life-line. Thanks to the toilet awakening, I am enlightened and back on track.

So the bottom-line is, if you're ever in doubt - any kind of dilemma it may be, your solution is just a few steps away - 'Do the loo.'

I have lost touch with my own heart.
Despite being together, something sets us apart.

The heart ...
# which taught me the difference between right and wrong
# which assured me that for a definite purpose, I was born
# which made me stand alone when no-one had faith in me
# which inspired me to face adversities with utmost glee
# which told me that perseverance always triumphs
# which remained my guide, through all jerks and bumps
# which gave me the belief to pursue my passion
# which offered me the courage to dream beyond imagination

... And it's never too late,
To reopen that closed gate!

P.S. Quoting the inimitable Gulzar saheb, 'Dil to bachcha hai ji.' :)
P.S. From now on, I am noting down my thoughts not on facebook but in a notebook. :) :)