Friday, April 8, 2011

Wittyleaks

This world cup season, I had been amazingly involved in cricket, the habit that thankfully I caught through my activity on twitter. I’m really hopeful that India is going to win this time and I want to share the witty and emotional journey that my thought-process went through in the process. I present some of my own commentaries on the past cricket matches, starting chronologically:

Wittyleaks:

  • No work and no play makes Sreesanth a millionaire.
  • Arindam Chaudhari, inspired by Dhoni, cuts his ponytail. He was seen wearing a T-shirt saying, 'Dare to think beyond Sachin.'
  • Piyush Chawla donates half of his won money to Sreesanth, for shifting the attention of critics towards himself.
  • Dhoni has made a bet to his friend that he would bring the WC without scoring more than ten runs in any match. Well, that’s called confidence.
  • Yuvraj says his lack of form in the past few months was just a tactic to get rid of Deepika. Now, he is eyeing Sheila!
  • Ponting goes back home, is welcomed by his wife, who says, ‘Fuck off! I’m marrying Yuvi.’
  • Munaf signed by Gillette as their Brand Ambassador. His recent tweet said ‘Not taking bath since months finally paid off.’
  • India wins. Nehra is thinking, ‘They were right, it was really me.’ #againstWI
  • A: Dhoni played politics by sending Nehra for the last over, he wanted him out.
    B: Do you realize that even Nehra wanted that!
  • Bangladeshi crowd is feeling jealous. They are cursing their grandfathers for not choosing Pakistan during the partition.
  • After Ind vs SA match, Dabur Amla is changing its tagline. Their new tagline goes like this: Asli Amla, Hashim Amla. B-)

Look what Mr. Lee is upto! No doubt he’s a bowler…and our Yuvi, busted his balls!

CriCommentary:

India vs Pak
  • Come on India, you got to buck up. If not for us, at least win this match for Poonam Pandey's fans. #mohali

India vs Australia
  • India will be facing Pakistan in Mohali. Let there be war!
  • Let’s give a nice farewell to Ponting. Let’s make him Nehra for one day!
  • Bharat mata ki … jai! Australia ki mata ki ________!
  • Mujhe Ponting ko dekh kar ab to aur bhi zyada Hussey aa rhi hai!
  • Ricky Ponting’s ton failed to get noticed in the land of master of tons.
  • When it comes to Tendulkar, a bat is mightier than a sword.

India vs WI
  • @Indian Team – Make sure that you don’t make me cry – ‘Holi Shit!’
  • Our Indian players seem bored of cricket, they’re so desperate to end every match as soon as possible
  • India is playing a good host. Setting up an example by practicing the philosophy of atithi devo bhav.
  • I’m watching Dhoom 2. Even Uday Chopra looks tolerable when compared to the Indian cricket team.
  • @Uday Chopra – You suck! Indian team gets the game back.
  • WI wiped out. That’s what happens when you ask West Indians to play in the East India.
  • West Indies team made a Nehra out of themselves.

Australia vs Pakistan
  • Razzaq to Brett Lee after the last over of the innings, ‘Beta, maine teri le LEE!’

England vs SA
  • England : they rock when they suck!

India vs SA
  • Don’t feel bad if people go gaga on the social network when India loses. That actually prevents violence – not only against players but also against TV sets.
  • Nehra is trending on TWITTER. We know who the man of the match is.
  • Nehra, after four dot balls in a row, got struck for a boundary. SA believes in tat for teeth!
  • India is all about diversity. A man scores a hundred runs, ten men take rest

England vs WI
  • This is the first time I’m feeling good for England. After the pathetic Patiala House, they finally attained something good in India.

P.S. Follow me here on twitter.

1 comment:

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