I am Special

I always searched outside for people to see my beauty, my inner beauty. I seeked their attention to make them appreciate me in one way or other. I did not feel beautiful from inside, I did not like my face, my crooked teeth or my spectacled eye. I wanted for somebody to make me feel special, to make me feel beautiful. But no one turned up.

It was not until I myself fell in love with Harsh that the whole world realized my essence. When I accepted myself as the way I am, the whole world accepted me with open arms.

The world treats you the way you treat yourself.

What a Passion!

The Summer of 2008
Place : Dhanbad, Jharkhand(my hometown)

I dropped a ten rupees note in my pocket and left home for meeting my friends in the ISM campus. I entered the campus thinking about what, that I also don't remember. I observed the sky and noticed the trees surrounding the roads. I peeped into the Ruby hostel(That's a girls hostel by the way) but to my disappointment there was no one to please my spectacled eyes . I moved ahead, being somewhere lost in my daydreaming and turned according to the road. An ambassador was circumscribing the campus with a popular Himesh song rocking the surroundings in great volume, perhaps somebody was learning driving. A brief stroll over, still lost in thoughts I opened the gate to the house of Gautum and found myself amongst a nice bunch of people : all of them being holiday returns. Its always heartening to look new faces as we often get bored to see the same faces all the time, much like that I got bored of seeing my own face in the last 18 years. I met Karthik, his stylish new look looked good. I heard his college stories and found it almost similar to mine. We started for the ground to play cricket.

"How many cigarettes you burn daily?", he asked me.
"Zero", I replied.
"Really? Not even in college? Though it looks from your face that you have become a chain smoker."

I got a strange feeling inside, I wanted an immediate plastic surgery for sure. There was a part inside me laughing at the joke, which was pathetic, and another part STUMPED. Come on, my face is not that bad. He related proudly that he smoked a dozen cigarettes daily. That made me ask myself, "Am I missing something? Is smoking so necessary?". It had been almost 19 years since I bawled out on this planet and I have still not experienced one of the best feelings(as they say!) available on this earth. I recalled every gone moments when I was offered that luxury, or when I could have grabbed the opportunity of putting those slim paper-cylinders in between my lips and feel like Sharukh Khan. I lost one year of my college life where I could have enjoyed that luxury without any restrictions.Can you think how big part it is in a smoker's lifetime? I was feeling that I lost something vital.

I remembered the first time when I was offered a cigarette, just to taste(not exactly taste, u may call it 'feel') in a friend's birthday party in the hostel in a great festive mood with the song SUTTA - dedicated to the smokers in the background, making the atmosphere more congenial. It was perhaps the best 'muhurta' for starting this new hobby, many of my friends were initiated into it that day only. And to my bad luck, I refused that offer. Had I not refused the offer, I would have gathered an year-long experience of smoking(which would perhaps add to my CV) & to all my tyro smoker friends I would have been a 'role model' kind of thing.

I thought about the previous week, something else struck my mind adding to my misery. In the previous week, the newspaper 'The Telegraph' conducted a survey called 'What girls like most about men?' and the results were astounding showing that SMOKING stood at the prestigious Rank 6. This thought intensified my feeling of losing something much more(har taraf se gaya!).

Dad's repetitive words, "Opportunities gone never come back" echoed my ears. Sudden vibration in my mobile phone tickled my legs and brought me down to the present moment and I found that I had reached the cricket ground.

I always felt that the world is full of selfish people, people here care for only themselves; but to my pleasant surprise, I found a world of smokers, who are not at all selfish. All my misconceptions are cleared : Smokers are selfless, they never care about themselves, despite reading in every second advertisements and on every cigarette pack that 'cigarette is injurious to health', they untiringly pursue their passion. I may never become like them, though my face resembles them, but I adore them for their utmost devotion and passion. If I had the same passion for my country, I would have worked wonders!

1000 smokers quit smoking everyday,

by dying.

(Written at 12:47 am, 23rd June in Dhanbad)

The future is boring!

Three days in Patna, not enough time, but still wanted to have a glimpse of the Miss World of the past and star of the future(Though to criticize her boyfriend was my prime intention). Two days after the release of Harry Baweja sci-fi movie, I happened to encircle the Regent cinema hall. Tickets had been sold two hours before the movie, and it left me no choice other than paying the double price of the ticket. After purchasing a coloured ticket in black (God knows where the hell this word ‘black’ for ticket came into being), I entered the hall in great optimism. Films started in a regular fashion, with the hero doing heroic deeds on his Dad’s car, the cinematography trying to make the entry of hero as rocking as possible. First glimpse of junior Baweja made me think twice whether he is a lost brother of Hrithik Roshan, his striking resemblance with Hrithik was astonishing. His cute smile couldn’t stop girls adoring her (Nice choice Priyanka!). Then the story goes on a smooth track, with hero in the prime scene all the time: a general debutante centered movie. When Harman began to dance, people went crazy; the hall was clustered with whistles and claps. Superb break dance (inspired by Mai-ka-lal Jaikishan), newest of its kind in Bollywood made it clear that this guy is going to be a star. Several moonwalks and waves made the dance a ‘WOW’ material for the audiences. But, the entrance of Booman Irani as a crazy scientist brought a big jolt on all the viewers’ expectations. His appearance like Einstein and his behavior like Charlie Chaplin were in contrast with each other. The gravity of a scientist was sucked up in his character (Really gravity sucks!). He danced (neither like Archimedes nor like Harman) with “EUREKA EUREKA!!” after discovering the formula of the time machine. The dialogue writer tried to include some funny remarks but that could not bring more than a giggle to the viewers. Transporting ourselves to the future, 2050 had some nice technological marvels, nice animations I must say, with flying cars and whale-sized LCDs. Tata Indicom, Sun Microsystems and Ceat tyres were showed to be the best brands of the future (paise ke liye log kuch bhi advertise kar dete hain). The villain was more like the villain of Nagaraj Comics with a mask and superpowers. But our hero had the power of love, with which he easily defeated the villain. The fighting action could have been better. After the interval, the crowd really became desperate; several people left the cinema hall half an hour before the film ended, as the film became too slow. The film was inspired a bit by the blockbuster ‘Krish’ for the mad scientist destroyed the time machine before dying.

Anyways the film had a nice concept, the children would like it more. But its ironical, a love story for class-2 going children (lol!). As a love story, it was too boring and too slow. The film clearly showed what it was intended for: To give junior Baweja a bumper debut. And he might succeed in it. Though I went to criticize him, I couldn’t find too many faults in him and I became a fan of his break-dance. Still, his break dance could not compensate for the double price I had to pay for the ticket!

India

It was 29th Aug, 1989 when I bawled out on this planet. From that day only, a stamp of being an Indian was embedded in my nature. Times passed by, India continued to be responsible for quite a lot of my actions.

The early childhood had in me immense love for my motherland. Every time Tiranga flashed on the Doordarshan, it would give me goosebumps. I unconsciously stood up in attention position and rejoiced while singing our national anthem in full volume. There was a song called ‘Mile sur mera tumhara’ telecasted every now and then on my small Salora black and white TV which had many maestros of music singing for the peace in the nation, of which I never ever got bored off. Every year I would wait for the Republic Day to see the nation’s power showcased during the shows. Every duels and quarrels with friends faded away at the time of any cricket match, when we used to dance together every time Sachin hit fours and sixes. Films like Roja and Border stirred my soul from within. A TV serial called ‘Yug’ referring to the Indian Freedom Struggle was telecasted on DD-Metro and each and every show brought immense patriotic fervour in me. I could not even hear a wrong word against my country. I remember a fight I had with a friend of mine when he said, “I hate this country.” That was the time India was the driving force for my life.

As I grew older(as well as more mature and more sensible, as they say) that early enthusiasm was lost on the way. Being an Indian didn’t bring that pride that it used to bring. India has been lost in the dust of the cricket grounds of my childhood. When elders asked me, “What do you want to do?” I replied, “I want to graduate from the IITs and settle in US.” Time had reached when there was not a single thing that I liked about my country. The pollution pinched me hard, I hated walking on roads that had spits of betel on it and I felt all the mythology as mere rubbish, all the politicians as gamblers and somewhere felt that the world outside India as much more beautiful. Before every cricket match, yet another loss was what consistently hit my mind. I began thinking twice before standing for our national anthem, and in school at the time of national anthem I used to do lips-ing as if some playback singer was singing the anthem for me. I remained asleep on 26th January as it was nothing more than a holiday for me. Indians looked more superstitious and narrow-minded than ever before and I wanted desperately wanted to run out of this country. The only thing which I liked about India was Aishwarya Rai (who also broke my heart by marrying the guy who does “chiki-chaka-chaka-jung-jung” for motorocker).

The maturity that came with the ageing childhood had caused the loss of the vigour for my country, but at the same time brought a new side of the country (this was the phase when real sensibility came in me). The country with so many colours, traditions and rituals, and every tradition having a heritage as well as history of its own; became fascinating for this matured soul. The beliefs of people here on the idols of Rama and Krishna who they have never seen, different sects of people living in the same area with harmony and unison, the innocence of the villagers, the perseverance of farmers, the bliss of sages, the melody of Indian music, the happiness on the face of every child, the marvellous brain of India and creativity of artisans suddenly became visible. My indifference to India faded as soon as I saw it being a conglomeration of every beautiful thing here on earth. The same things which I despised became strikingly beautiful for me. The stamp that was laid on me at the time of birth showed its essence then. Life changes its course, maybe I will leave this country one day, but that does not lower my respect for this nation that has provided me a heritage to be proud of and many beautiful people to enrich my life.

We say we don’t love this country, we criticize the system, we point out flaws but in all of these we don’t see what feelings we have that has made them to criticize it. I mean to say that Why don’t we criticise Somalia or Ethiopia? It’s because we don’t care about them. But for India, we care. We know that we are responsible for the condition of our country and we can bring a change ourselves. We want our country to be the best; we want it to be a superpower, to be developed, to win all the cricket matches it plays and to surpass every nation with its values and beliefs intact. We are, in one way or another, linked to the nation. After seeing the English movies and the kind of language they use, a sudden pride pops up amongst us because we are more civilised, we are more respectful to our parents and more cultured. We must be proud to be born in such a country where the people have discovered all the arts and sciences at a time when the guys and gals of the rest of the world were killing animals for their flesh to make their underpants!

A Living God

Its 11:12 pm, we are sitting and watching TV, suddenly Mom stood up and says, “I am now going to sleep”.

She picks up the dirty plates and takes them to the sink. She brings Bournvita for us. She sits down to write a leave application for my sister. She clears the mess on the bed, arranges the bed-sheet and knots the mosquito net to its keys. She switches off the light of the drawing room and pulls the grills of the main door. She prepares for her lectures to be delivered in her college the next day and presses her salwar suit. She puts a water bottle and a tumbler near every bed and puts the mobile phones on charging. She greets us, "Good night", which we don‘t even reciprocate having been absorbed in an Arnold's action packed blockbuster. She sets the alarm to 5’o clock in the morning and sits for her night prayers. Finally, she puts on the anti-ageing cream and moisturizers on her face. With a sigh of relief, she goes to her room, turns off the light of the room and retires to bed.

Its 12:04 am, I, tired after finishing the movie, get up and announce loudly, “I am going to sleep, Good night” to which there is no response. I go to my room and blindly slide under my mosquito net and see that there is no pillow. I complain to myself, "Nobody is concerned for me, I hate this world.”

A Ten Years Gap

It was 1998. I was sitting in front of the TV and watching Dexter’s Lab. Suddenly the power was cut, I cursed the electricity board with great enthusiasm and lied down on the bed still in darkness. There was no one in the room. My newly bought radium watch showed me the time was 9:30 at night. The main door was closed and I could see a faint moonlight creeping through the crevices of the door. The light pulled me towards it, and within a moment, I slid towards its birthplace : The Moon.

“I saw myself hanging in between the earth and the moon, being closer to the moon. I found several dark craters and numerous volcanoes scattered on its bright surface. My imagination took me to its surface which was a conglomeration of everything I saw in the cartoons, discovery channel and of course my imagery. I, being still dressed in my favorite trousers, saw beneath my feet impenetrable depth of light, so radiant that it dazzled my eyes. I looked at the sky and found the most beautiful thing I had ever seen : I saw my earth, all of its continents in perfect balance and my motherland India looking as if it had been crafted deliberately yet most beautifully by the Master Craftsman.
"My imagination instantly moved me to a rocket(much like Dexter‘s) which was traveling at limitless speed. Vicariously, I toured the whole solar system. I could see the Jupiter and its four moons dancing around it in circular orbits and I saw Pluto, looking much as a purple colored ‘Cadbury Gems’. I could see myself amazed by the deep blue colour of the Neptune. Within a moment, my super fast thoughts arranged my exit from the solar system. My thoughts unknowingly drifted from the zigzag motion of the planets, crossed the milky way and steered towards the periphery of the universe. The end of the universe was much like the horizon on the sea, as it drifted farther the more I tried to reach it. My mind gave up but my imagination didn’t(it had no bounds), it kept moving away from the universe to finally find a vantage point. And to my utter amazement, from the vantage point I observed that the universe was contained in a small seed and millions of such seeds were contained in an urn in a familiar seed shop in a remote village in northern India...(a sudden ‘wow‘ feeling came at my imagination)"

Sudden bright lights from the bulbs dissolved the dim moonlight from the crevices. The ‘noise’ in the TV brought me back to the world and I was still in awe. After two minutes, I came back to my senses and found that Dexter’s Lab was over, but that time it didn’t hurt.

Ten years later(21st June, 2008), summer holidays on. I was watching TV and this time not a cartoon but a movie. Suddenly, grains struck the TV screen with great intensity and lights flickered, I realized that power got cut and the inverter had taken charge(times have changed, you know). My newly bought watch showed me the time : 12 o’ clock in the night(My matured mind grew up for the radium watch this time). Nature could not interfere my thoughts this time because the moonlight became much less bright for me to notice. I shut down the TV, lay down on the bed and switched off the lights. My thoughts started to wander(not wonder).

“I thought about my school, where the very first thing that struck my mind was how badly my chemistry teacher once ridiculed me in the class. I tried to move my thoughts to my college whose insurmountable academic pressure punched me hard. I consciously tried to think of my future but, to my shock, I could find numerous doubts and dilemmas. My self-belief started to tremble. I heard a wailing sound of a child from somewhere in the neighborhood and this carried me back to my childhood days - where dreams were always meant to come true, where the whole universe was in my fist and I could twist and turn it in my own wish, where I could drive rockets with saucers, where the word “limitation” was never in my dictionary, where every morning was brand new and filled with enormous energy, where I was like ‘wind’ with enough power to smash every obstacle that stood my way. My thoughts soon merged with my dreams and simultaneously my childhood merged with my present scenarios. The tough realities haunted me with their true face and I realized how time had changed. I had matured but somewhere on the way I lost that innocence and that freedom. I longed for the same blithe of my childhood.”

A sudden call early in the morning from my aunt woke me up the next day. She asked me to come and teach her 5th grade son some Mathematics when I wondered, “Is it he or me who needs to be taught?”

The Three Mistakes of My Life

I got really excited when I saw Chetan Bhagat’s new book in Big Bazaar. The cost(Rs.95 only) too did not made my wallet frown. I bought that book within a blink(The first mistake of my life, I realized later).When I met my friends, I proudly asked them, “Dude, have you seen Chetan’s new book?” My friends negated to which I proudly replied, “I have got it buddy” and my shrewd smile increased its curvature to form a perfect semi-circle and made me more flamboyant. I loved winning over them in ‘atleast’ one thing for the time being.

My pomp trickled me down to a slippery path of exaggeration(Its so very slippery that it can cause a dumb person to become an RJ or a little talk with a girl to be called as a date, and still we all love doing that!). Having read just the prologue and the first two chapters of the book, I told them the book is stunning with great storyline and blah-blah(Yes, you got that right : The ‘second’ mistake). It is not surprising because Chetan’s writing style especially at the beginning of his writing always looks marvelous(C’mon, he isn’t that bad!). The next few days somehow things didn’t workout, I could not get enough time to complete that book(Got tired of orkutting the whole day!) but that couldn’t stop me from giving free publicity to the guy who thanked Bill Gates in his acknowledgements. I recommended this book to every teenager I came across. Chetan must be getting hiccups everytime I advertised his book. Why shouldn’t I publicize? Its my fundamental duty to give a guy moral support who sat through the same tortures in the same lecture theatres as I am doing presently.

God was ‘a bit’ kind on me. My mom gifted that book to somebody(poor he!) for which I had a nice fight at home because the book was incomplete and I thought I would read it someday. The main problem was that I couldn’t complain to any of my friends about the lost that book because they were knowing that I had finished the book(courtesy to my exaggerations). Fortunately, my resentment faded away soon with incoming 200 scraps and numerous ‘gtalk’ conversations. Internet is a panacea, it can cure all your ailments. Days went by as fast as guys score runs in IPL(sorry for that dumb simile, I couldn‘t find anything better conveying my feelings).

I had a trip to Shirdi in the second week of June. I had taken two books(Paulo Coelho‘s stuffs) for the journey to provide my mind some philosophical entertainment(sounds weird, eh?). But the non-stop chatter of a 7-year old overenthusiastic “kid” brought me down to read some fiction(How could he understand the value of concentration, until he would need to fry his bottom to prepare for the competitions!). So I considered it a right time for finishing off with the incomplete book. At Jabalpur station, I committed the third biggest mistake of my life and nobody stopped me, not even my intuition.

I got down the train and purchased that book once again, and to add icing on the cake the shopkeeper told me, “Saheb, ye book bahot bik rahi hai”. My ego knew no bounds and a sudden pride sprang up : The book that I had suggested to my friends is gonna be a best-seller, “I rock!”. I came back happily on my seat and ‘dated’ the book for the next five continuous hours(Fortunately or unfortunately, that kid got down at the next station). The book provided me more jerks than the train. It was the same : filmy, melodramatic, repetitive, monotonous and non-sensical, in short disgusting. I could dream of continuous jeers from my friends, about this book, targeted at me with great force after they read it. The scenes from the film “The Butterfly Effect” flashed my eyes where I could go to the past and craft my future according to my own wish. Only in dreams I could save myself from my friends, who would leave no stones unturned in pulling my leg. Perhaps that’s why I am tall.

Book Analysis :

In the cup life of a Gujarati businessman, Mr.Bhagat added the spice of cricket, calamities, financial bottlenecks, friendship, romance, eroticism, emotional dilemmas, religious fanaticism and also maths(not to forget Mr.Bhagat ought to be good at this stuff). In a way the recipe for the script of a typical Indian movie could be found in that 95 rupees book.

Mr.Bhagat has gone somewhere wrong, he started writing out of his passion and now I believe he has drifted towards enriching his bank accounts. His books, save the stunning 5.someone, were a complete shit. He tried to do every kind of experiment on those, he tried to send us a message through God or tried to bring out the extremism of the religious fronts, but amidst all this he has forgotten to take care of the readers. He has become highly repetitive as his writings are always revolving around 3 to four friends of which one is stud, one is dull and the third, the narrator, is a guy suffering from ‘superb’ inferiority complex. The repetitions in the storyline tickles my small intestine and makes me uncomfortable. His writings claim to be true, but it is hard to find it in this real world of ours, ‘which moves around the sun if he notices’, so many coincidences are ‘beep’ impossible. If what he has written is true, then I am desperately expecting Ali to come out of nowhere in our Cricket team and replace Sachin and oh my jesus, I haven’t heard of that guy called Fred of the Australian team to be counted among the ‘Legends’. Comparing him with the legends like Naipul, Rushdie is inappropriate because he is not yet versatile, he needs to grow.
This is purely critical analysis, my views put in words. Every sentence describes my feelings and if this hurts anybody then prove your point to me or go to hell. Being a fan is the easiest thing in the world, just follow the herds of people who blindly follow a person. But one should apply one’s mind before carrying on someone else’s beliefs. Chetan Bhagat is undoubtedly very successful and his writing style is cool, but this monotony pinches me hard(and also tickles me, if you remember) and makes me comment on it. I would love to have your views on this book and also on Mr.IITian-IIMian husband of Mrs.Bhagat.

Sometimes I am bad, and the problem is that ‘sometimes’ happens too often.

(Written on 12th June in Shirdi)

Faith :

I think that I am losing something, thats a vital component of existence and thats faith. The moment I enter a temple or any religious place I begin to question my belief, I am not able to believe in an idol. I really want to, but just the flow of faith is interrupted. There is always a doubt accompanying me at these times.

On analyzing carefully, Faith in a supreme power is necessary as well as spiritually good because :

• It shatters the ego a big deal.
• It makes one grateful for everything one gets, whether good or bad.
• It marks a beginning in the power of prayers in our life. Prayers can do miracles.

These three points are totally out of my experience with people who firmly believe in GOD. I am not an atheist, rather am an agnostic, a "mean" agnostic, who does not believe in anything without logic; but I am a peculiar kind of agnostic who wants to be a Theist but can't do it. I am helpless, Can anybody suggest me a method, a course : a crash course kind of thing in FAITH Development?? Help me..

(Firm believers of God are welcome to share their experiences, I would love to read them)

Scattered Thoughts :

A strange feeling slid inside me when I peeped down the roof. It was just a four-storied building and this fear of losing myself caged me from within. Coming back to my senses, I wondered for a while, why I got that eerie feeling? The fear of falling down made me so scared that I suddenly realized my existence. For the last 18 years, I never cared for my existence, I took it for granted. The bizarre thought of death never ever struck my mind. How could I die? I am here to live, to achieve, to pursue my interests... was all that I could think of...But suddenly, something more powerful than my existence, which can shake the roots of my very existence became visible i.e. DEATH. I get an abnormal sensation when I think about it.

My point is why there is much fuss about it? Are we doing such great things that death will cause some loss to the world? Nothing is indispensable. Our very existence is mere an illusion, just as someone has dipped his finger in water and the moment he withdraws his finger the water fill that space instantaneously. We are special but impermanent mortal species. Death is bound to come, its waiting for the right time. Instead of running away from it, if we welcome it with openness our lives would be the most fulfilling : because we will die happily.

Lock Unlocked :

There is a gift to the mankind which I have been made to realize once again by the Master. That gift can be put in the following words :

If you become passionately involved in anything for a long period of time, the lock to that thing will be made open to you.

It happened to me earlier, it happened to me from time to time, just because I passionately devoted my time to that thing. The first realization came when I was in class 2. My Uncle gifted me a globe and within two days I memorized all the countries and their capitals (just because I gave up my video games for those two days). Then came the synthesizer which I had tried my hands upon from class 8 to class 9 and suddenly one day I was astonished to see myself reproducing any song I heard. Then came the flute, it took me 3 days of gasping deep breaths to unlock its code. This gave me a confidence to pick up yet another instrument i.e. Harmonica and I unlocked its code in just an hour. But my confidence was brought to the ground level by guitar, which took me 1 year of arduous "arbit maarna" to unlock its code. In the midst of all this, something happened : I was in class 10th, and I was terrified with the subject sanskrit. I could score only 69 out of 100 in the first term examination, I started devoting much of my time in it, and then suddenly one day I fell asleep while studying it and that too for just 15 minutes. When I got up miraculously sanskrit seemed easy. It seemed somewhat familiar and simple. I don't know what exactly happened but yeah that day I became a close witness of a big mystery of nature, i.e. the key to the treasure of knowledge and learning is gifted to those who persevere in search of that treasure.

And today once again, I have unlocked a lock, that is typing rapidly without seeing the keyboard with a considerable accuracy and I am happy :).
(Why shouldn't I be? Having 4700 scraps on orkut is no small thing)

A forthcoming revolution :

Let us join hands to create a movement :

• People afflicted with physically disabilities should not be called physically handicapped but rather we should call them "Specially-abled"
• It has already been accepted that the word "blind" has been replaced by "visually challenged".
• The art of making a sad person happy is the best form of art possible. It is above any prayer and above any deed.
  
• Being judgmental is the worst way of wasting time. It can't persuade other people to correct themselves and neither can it help ourselves, just we get to improve our vocabulary by some 5-6 bad words.
  
• Sometimes, just being there means a lot more than saying something. Silence speaks louder than words.

When the power of love overcomes the love for power, the world will know peace.

I can create a difference in their lives :

Compassion, one of the greatest virtues is intriguing me once again. This morning, this particular feeling has started pinching me, for I remember myself being judgmental for many deprived people. I remember myself getting irritated by the beggars, by the kids asking for money to feed themselves, by a malnourished 5 year old cobbler in tattered clothes who annoyed me continuously asking me, "Sir, poliss kara lo" and me chiding him,"Bhaagta hai ya maarun?".

Being in educated class, it is our duty to have a place in our hearts for these heart-swirling happenings around us. We need to be touched by all this, we cannot be so heartless and so indifferent that we don't pay attention to these. The cause of this deprivation is nothing more than their fate, they had been born to poverty-stricken family and this is not their fault at all. If we can't help them then atleast by being compassionate we can treat them as human beings. Why are we so adamant to draw boundaries between ourselves and them? Before anything to categorize us, we all are a subset of a universal superset of "Human Beings" and after that we all are citizens of the same motherland. If we help them, then it will be indirectly helping our nation to break the boundary and class divide. We have the best tool to fight this penury and deprivation and that is "LOVE". Love can win all the wars and can bring radical change in the society. Only if we respect everyone's existence on this earth, we can make our existence worthwhile.

Just a simple pledge can make a difference :
"From this day, I will not only understand the pain of the poverty-stricken but also feel that pain. My eyes will reassure hope in every needy who comes to me."

Dilemma :

Just found this somewhere, and was stuck by the sheer truth and beauty of it.

Whenever you're called on to make up your mind,
and you're hampered by not having any,
the best way to solve the dilemma, you'll find,
is simply by spinning a penny.

No - not so that chance shall decide the affair
while you're passively standing there moping;
but the moment the penny is up in the air,
you suddenly know what you're hoping.

Piet Hein, poet and scientist (1905-1996)

Quite a Few :

The last semester has been an entirely new experience for me. It showed me the true face of life. Variety of emotions, psychological stresses, academic pressure, peer pressure, diplomacy and politics and screwing examination once again came into my life step by step. Everything didn't go bad, the last six months has been a roller-coaster ride for me. I got so many GREAT friends that it compensates for all my downs. During tough times, the presence of a friend with whom you can share all your emotions is a boon bestowed on few. I got almost five very close friends with who I can share almost all my thoughts and emotional ups and downs. God never keeps us deprived, it always compensates for one thing or other. The feeling of care and mutual respect between friends is the best experience of my life till now. God is really great, He is a benefactor for me.

On the positive front, the last semester made me grow emotionally as well as creatively. I started writing, photography, drawing, sketching, drawing ambigrams, composing tunes and harmonies, discovering music scales and most importantly understanding other's emotions, respecting other's view and not taking anybody for granted. I stopped using slangs and bad words which I had picked up last semester and became a pure Vegetarian. I developed an immense love for my motherland and nature and realised the importance of family in our lives.

For me everyday is a learning and this journey of life is flawlessly beautiful. I am reminded of the following lines for ending this post :

Life tells you nothing, it shows you everything.

I found the Key :

Enough of chill maarna. Now it has been realized that there is no substitute to hard-work. Opportunities come to only those who are prepared. I avoided studies in the name of extra-curriculars though I was neither par excellence in any of those. The height of me avoiding studies was when everyday I started picking up new hobbies from origami, ambigrams, sketching to even arbitrary blogging. The more I ran away from studies, the more the pressure it mounted on my mind. Now when I came face to face with it, I realize it was never difficult for me. The words of Swami Vivekanand strike my mind which says, "What you need is more important than what you want." The best way to fight fear is to come face to face with it and when one comes face to face with it, a funny situation arises; the fear seems trifle...and in the case of studies...it looks surprisingly easy....YES you heard it right..."EASY". My life has got a road...now it is waiting for me to run on it at my full pace...

Hardwork is the key...even luck favours the prepared one...the reason for any failure 99% of times is "Lack of Hard-work". Sharpness and talents don't matter much(they only make ur understanding faster)...it is ultimately practice that makes one perfect...the more one practices the more skilled one becomes. Everything in this life is straight-forward and that's why Life is complex.

Quote:
One of the greatest geniuses of all times, Michelangelo said, "It would not be so astonishing if you knew how hard I worked to gain my mastery."

Indeed

Friends were here
Friends were there
Friends were all around

One was there
Who lived so near
Hostile did he sound

To everyone, I used to complain
"I loath him, I loath him", I used the refrain

Soon came a tough phase
"Politics and Diplomacy", did I gaze

All the fake masks fell to the ground
Greed and Ego knew no bounds

Selfishness climbed to zenith
Crushing all the friendships beneath

When all my friends lost hope
And my self-belief started to grope

Only he stood by my side
Showing faith in me to give me a smooth glide

The (poltu) season took a halt
All our expectations had been rolled

Neither did I get any post
Nor anything to boast

But I found a friend amongst all those so-called friends
Whose friendship is valuable till the time ends

Friends will come and friends will go
Some may even turn out to be a foe
Only few remain who heal our wounds,

Who share our sorrow
And wish for us a better tomorrow
Only they are forever...and this friendship then knows no bounds

I got one of those few
"I'll never loath him, I'll never loath him", now I knew,
Now I knew..

I learnt today :

• Emotions are one of the most precious gifts of nature for any human being.
• Friends are the best possession one can have. It is one lifetime investment which will always multiply itself in return.
• Busy mind inculcates creativity while Idle mind provokes lust.
• Parents are always right.

• I have NOT lost my vigour for study. I studied the whole day with good grasping.

• The fun-element adds interest in even the most boring activities.
• Just an hour of sincere study brings immense contentment.

Trespassers will be Rusticated :

Yesterday, don’t know what happened, an idea cropped up out of nowhere in our minds to visit insti top at midnight. We were idling around after the House Day of Jwalamukhi Hostel, and finally went up to the insti roof after much persuasions to many of my friends. Our bunch of young men and women, showing their gymnastics skills in trespassing the closed gates at the insti top atlast found the place worth for all the efforts they had put in. The breeze blowing was romantic and adding to the romance was the bright moon-light inducing inertia in our eyes. Dancing in our own rhythm, we were feeling at heaven. But things don’t always remain as simple as it seems. Our joy was evil-eyed. The culprits behind our short-lived joy are the ones who have enough power to make us dance in their own kind of DISCO(DISciplinary COmmittee). They are popularly known as GUARDs(as if a south-indian guy is pronouncing GOD). Their heroic entry induced adrenaline in many of my friends, somebody’s heart pumping blood at twice the rate, somebody’s mind working at a wondrous pace to provide excuses for our great deed.Of the seven of us three of my friends fled away(flight from fight, but not for long).

Surprisingly, I was quite calm because somewhere deep inside my heart I was assured that nothing serious is gonna happen. That’s probably because I was a bit more experienced in breaking the rules; having already dated security officers earlier when I jumped over the hostel gates at 3 o’clock at night after watching that torturous movie RGV ki AAG(Friends thanks for all your sympathy for me for having tolerated that torture). Waise, insti top was not too risky especially when there are no boundary-edges at the top of a building of ten storeys and its assured that if u get a chance to have a peaceful and instantaneous death, it’s undoubtedly the best option.

Coming back to the story, we four followed our able leader, a guard; providing him the best available excuses. He lead us to the king of ‘em all : The Security Incharge. He fired us with questions having no patience to hear our explanations to them. And to add to the spice of the scene, we were asked to call the three of them who fled away…lol…God does not spare anyone(GOD in this case is equivalent to the Security Incharge)..Anyways coming back to the point…when you do mistake there is remorse….which was quite visible in all our eyes; our able acting touched the heart of the GOD and he forbade his mercy upon us…asking us to write an APOLOGY LETTER and bestow them with our prestigious signatures(which he will store forever and will show to his grand-children for sure)…He warned us for the last time(though the time when I was jumping the gate, it was the last time too)…This not only provided us the opportunity to make our name and entry no. famous but also our hostel and room no. to be in those prestigious pages. Just coming out of security in charge’s cabin…we maintained a sorry face until we went far away from the cabin and found nobody near to read our face when our sorry face suddenly sprang up into a mischievous one…..we had a naughty smiles on our face and a deep underlying sense of achieving something great...out of this world…And I said, "Maza aya yaar", and all my friends reciprocated to it saying, "Sahi mein yaar"… a couple of ice-teas at NESCI brought us back to our ground level…and Shirshendu describing the whole incident in his superb gestures - full of expressions, added flavour to the ice-teas….
Now 6 in the morning, with the morning sun glorifying my whole surrounding with its funny light, I sense a tingle whenever I remember about yesterday. It is an experience which I will cherish the whole life…unless I have an attack of amnesia…


P.S.The photo displays the entry of the Insti Roof...It has to do nothing with the yesterday's event..it is just added to make the whole description more vivid...The fence remains closed at night and we jumped across this fence.

8 things :

Eight things I am passionate about(in no particular order):

Music
Writing
Emotions...good ones...affection, care, respect,taking care of someone
My faith and beliefs
Photography
Good conversations
India : My love for it is increasing day by day
Mom-made cuisine, sleep and other such delicious reasons of living


Eight things I want to do before I die (In no particular order):

Feel complete
Tour the whole world with my parents and sister
Learn all the forms of art viz. origami, ambigrams...
Adopt a child
Make my own soft-rock band
Learn violin and saxophone
Experience super-consciousness
Write a book


Eight things I say often:

"This is"
"Sahiii"
"Cool"
"Wat/Kya"
"Shit"
"I know..."
"Hmmmm"
"Actually/Exactly/Naturally/Perhaps"

Eight books I’ve read recently:

The Da Vinci Code
Wise and Otherwise
Men of Steel
The Success Principles
The Journey to Self-Realization
I bought the Ferrari
Success Vs Joy
Chicken Soup for the Soul


Eight songs I could listen to, over and over:

Koi Fariyad, Tum bin
Heaven, Bryan Adams
Everybody hurts, Corrs
Garaj Baras, Jagjit Singh
My heart will go on, Celine Dion
Bahon ke Darmiyan, Khamoshi
Yaad kiya dil ne, Jagjit Singh's Version
Everything I do, Bryan Adams


Eight things that attract me to my best friends:

Easygoing/Approachable
Caring
Non-interfering
Understanding/ Perception
Reliable
Passion
Sensitivity
Good listening skills

HappYness :

There is some point in my life when everything seems not working yet life appears to be smooth. There is great satisfaction in my doings and even if things don't work I remain happy.

This part of my life is called HAPPINESS.

It is eternal, inexpressible. Presently, I am in that very state, feelin great. Not just great, but infact too great. I don't know why but its lovely. A deep sense of contentment is there in my breath. Today is special.

I got up in great mood. My "best friend" (oh, the joy that comes on mentioning this word is immeasurable) came to wake me up early in the morning. When he told "Harsh, uth ja, sadhe saat ho gaye"; unlike other days when I shout at the one who wakes me up; I said, "Thanks a lot!". The day started on a positive note. I even had my breakfast : Spicy masala dosa and i relished it. And reached the practical classes in full swing discussing Physics (A rare moment). Practicals were eye-boggling straining the eyes with several microscope measurements. Today the very thought of studies is not bothering me. Acceptance brings satisfaction and inculcates creativities.

I am feeling gifted as if the Almighty is conspiring to move me ahead... ahead of this world... this bondage of emotions...in a state of constant bliss...where every moment is a celebration...every face has a smile...every thought has purity...love and care flows through every soul...which is as comfortable as my mother's lap...and she moving her fingers through my dishevelled hairs...


I wonder will this state be permanent or will the world pull me back from this trance to the tough realities...